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Today’s blog post is by the (and my) one and only, Boyfriend. Guys, listen up, because in my totally (un)biased opinion, his advice is pretty spot on. And by pretty, I mean totally, completely, 100% spot on.
Without further adieu…
Boyfriend Corner: On V-Day
February 14. It’s a day you either love or hate. Repeat the last sentence ten-fold if you’re a woman. But Jellybean (Refer to Bro Tip #3 below before you jump to any conclusions about my pet name for Erica.) can blog about a girl’s perspective sometime, so I’m not going to create the umpteenth article about Valentine’s Day from a woman’s perspective. This post is about what Valentine’s Day should be from a man’s perspective and advice for my fellow gents. Side note: This is advice for gents who have that special someone, but let’s be frank, Valentine’s Day falls on a Friday and we all know how we feel about Fridays anyway…
How Men and Woman Typically Feel about February 14th
(Entertain me in some quick hypothetical water cooler conversation between Jack and Nancy.)
Jack’s at the water cooler grabbing a refreshing beverage when Nancy comes up behind him and nudges him.
Nancy: Hey, Jack. You know what day it is?
Jack: February 7… So what?
Nancy: So what? SO WHAT? (Hand on her side.) It’s one week from… VALENTINE’S DAY. I am SO excited. SO excited. My boyfriend John better get me candy, flowers, the WHOLE nine yards. I mean, it’s only the most romantic day of the year. Oh. My. GOD. What am I going to wear?
Jack: Man. It’s that time of the year again?
Nancy rambled on so long she didn’t even hear Jack. In fact, she didn’t even notice that Jack had walked away.
Seriously. This is typical of how men feel about Valentine’s Day. It’s not that we don’t enjoy showing our affection for our counterparts, but it’s almost as if we subconsciously revolt against any real effort on this day. Think about it. We’re set up for failure. We’re forced to contrive the absolute best day to represent our “true love” for our significant other. Talk about pressure. But it shouldn’t be this way.
Bro Tips (Ladies, encourage your men!)
Bro Tip #1 – Spread the Love throughout the Year
The easiest way to take the stress off of one day is to man up and spread the love throughout the year. Just like you wouldn’t want to watch a football game once a year, women expect the same when it comes to love (and you should, too). If you really are stuck, use your email calendar to set up random alerts to remind you that you’re slipping. You may have five ideas in a minute, but when you’re caught up at work, in life, etc. you’ll thank me for it. No more excuses.
For example, set a Tuesday alert in April to grab flowers for your loved one. We may not remember everything and that’s a reason we invented technology to help our lapses. But women never forget. Ever. It’s not the alert that counts, it’s the thought that counts. Remember that.
Bro Tip #2 – Do the “Girl” Stuff Once in Awhile
Sometimes I get caught up trying to be the “man” in the relationship to satisfy a designated role (maybe an insecurity?) in my mind, but it’s o.k. to do what your girlfriend likes… at least once in awhile. Watch that chick flick she wants, indulge in a tub of ice cream (Sometimes I wonder how Erica can eat an entire pint in three minute flat, but I’ve since chalked it up to a specific gene found only in women.), and just listen. The last one is definitely the hardest, but it shows you care. There’s no better (and free) gift to show that you care about your significant other than simply listening. And without your phone in hand.
Bro Tip #3 – Be Yourself and Own It
You’re you for a reason. Your gal loves you for that reason. That goofy face you make, the sounds you make, and your temper tantrums are somehow unconditionally accepted by her. Think about that. (Sometimes women get a bad rap of being picky, but sometimes that’s not the truth.) So be yourself and own the day. You don’t have to fall into media hype and insecurities of others. Sit down and just think about the things you love about your person and show them the list. I bet you that means more than the crappy chocolate, flowers that will die, and ice cream that… o.k. still get the ice cream. Just be yourself and own the day.
If you still find these three tips to be difficult, there’s still another way out of this holiday: Go to Japan or South Korea. Yup. These two countries switched the roles for us and have the ladies bringing us candy, flowers, and chocolate. (Now if we can just switch out the chocolate for beer!)
ISN’T HE SO RIGHT?! Gosh, I love that man. Big big big thanks to Boyfriend for bringing his light to the blog. *sending smooches*
A little note from me…
Many (most) of you are probably on the “Valentine’s Day: Who needs it?” boat. …Actually, we all do. Just not in its overly commercialized, cheesy, and all-too-cliché manifestation of chocolates and roses and helium balloons and heart-holding teddy bears. Spread the love, mush, and sap out over time. Do little somethings and whisper sweet nothings (that are really sweet somethings) and try your hardest, just because you can. We all need a little love every day, not just on February 14th (sorry, Hallmark). Bring home your love’s favorite candy bar or their signature cup o’ joe. Put Post-It love on the mirror or in his briefcase/manpurse. Send an extra text in the middle of a rainy Tuesday to let them know that they’re your favorite distraction. With 364 other days to spread some love, why save it all for one very, very pink n’ red occasion?
Guys, do you agree with any of this? Girls, what do you really want from the 14th? What are your thoughts??? Comment below!
lovelovelovelove (a lil’ extra love today, just because…),