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With V-Day right around the corner, it’s hard to escape the hearts-fest that has thrown up on every store endcap – from pink balloons to red roses to pink AND red candies and chocolates galore, the season of St. Valentine is HERE, yo. This time of year can be particularly meh for any of us not feelin’ the love in some aspect of life, be that romantically, with our girlfriends, or with ourselves. And when we’re not totally feelin’ it, it can be far too easy to equate a lack of momentary feeling to a lack of permanent worth. We doubt we’re worth the “perfect guy,” we doubt we’re worth the ultimate girl squad…we doubt our own worth pointblankperiod, letting our self love slip in the process.
We’ve all been through sh*t in life at some point or another.
We’ve been bullied.
We’ve been dumped.
We’ve been intentionally excluded.
We’ve also been the one doing the bullying or dumping or excluding sometimes, because we’re human and imperfect and make mistakes and fall short.
But we’re all worthy of Love.
No matter what you’ve been through, no matter what you’ve done, you are still – and always will be – worthy of love.
And in case you don’t fully believe that yet in your heart of hearts, I need you to look in the nearest mirror right this very second and repeat after me:
“I AM WORTHY OF LOVE!!!”
You are worthy of love. You are worth more than your fears. You are worth more than your self-doubts. You are worth more than the negative thoughts and vibes and things being thrown at you from seemingly every corner of the universe sometimes. You are worthy of a good life, a fulfilling life, and a life that makes you excited to wake up to every single morning. You are worthy of good friends, great food, and the neverending “pursuit of happiness.” Regardless of what you feel right now in this moment, it would be so silly – oh so silly – to let any momentary blip permanently mess with your self love, self worth, and willingness to spread love to other people.
“Now” never means “forever.” Just because you don’t have, feel, or think something now doesn’t give it any sort of permanence in your lift unless you let it.
“Feel” doesn’t have to mean “am/are.” Feeling is not being. Emotions do not define us. While your emotions are totally valid and totally okay to feel, that does not also automatically mean that what you feel accurately reflects what exists in real life.
- Feeling ugly doesn’t make you ugly.
- Feeling fat doesn’t make you fat.
- Feeling stupid doesn’t make you stupid.
- Feeling unworthy of love doesn’t actually make you unworthy of love.
What we feel so oftentimes is reflective of our now, and it can be HELLA HARD to separate the feeling from the being in more cases than we’d like to admit. We feel something now, and we jumble it together with “forever” and “being” instead of feeling. And it leads to total overwhelm, because we can’t identify what the heck we’re even feeling sometimes, let alone what the reality of a situation is. And more often than not, our own selves get the shortest end of the stick. We hardly give ourselves the grace that we often give others. We’ve heard the stories – people blatantly disrespecting and cheating on their partners and still getting second chances, third chances, fourth chances to “make it right,” and after one failed attempt of our own to do or try something new, we become “a failure” unworthy of future success or happiness.
Where the heck does the snowballing start?! I swear the seemingly smallest thing could happen sometimes, stick with us subconsciously (whether we even realize it or not), and come back full force at a later date with more series impact, causing us to question important schtuff. And suddenly we’re lacking in self love and abundant in self loathing and our true worth isn’t even in the scope of our understanding, because we can’t even believe that we’re worthy of the goodness in front of us.
How sad is that???
Some asshat at your job could call you incompetent – that doesn’t make it true, or make you unworthy of love.
Some insecure girl could say you’re just not going to get very far in life – that doesn’t make it true, or make you unworthy of love.
Some jerk on a first date could tell you that he just doesn’t see it going anywhere beyond the nightcap – that doesn’t make it true, or make you unworthy of love.
Girlfriend, you are worth SO MUCH. You are awesome. God made you Himself. He specifically and strategically formed you in His hand, how He wanted you to be. And then He sent down His own son to die for you, because you’re worth THAT MUCH to Him. You are worthy of love because He loves you, and that is enough.
Whether you’re coming at this V-Day single AF, head over heels in lovelovelove, rolling strong with your squad, or feeling lonely across the board…it’s okay. At the end of the day, it’s an overly commercialized holiday meant to make $$$ through the cheesy stuff. Take it as a day to celebrate regardless of your relationship status, because you ARE loved, and you’re worthy of every bit of it. Celebrate everyone in your life whom you love, and make sure that they KNOW it! And celebrate yourself. Self love is a powerful, beautiful, important thing. Never forget it.
What are your plans this Valentine’s Day?
I wanna know – drop ’em in a comment below, wouldja? And whether you’re in need of last minute gifts for a personal wishlist for your SO ( 😉 ), something special fo’ yo’ besties, or a solid TREAT YO’SELF, here are my *favorite* pink picks right about now: