37 weeks. 37 freaking weeks! If you know you know – as so many of you do – that this is so unbelievably and gloriously huge for us to hit. In this week’s CURation newsletter (you can sign up to get the next one here if ya missed it!), I pulled back the curtain a bit on control and what a weird, wild concept that’s been to break down these last few weeks especially. It’s been this illusion to continuously challenge in my brain – and I’ve admittedly gotten too comfortable in some moments, almost expecting God to “cut me a break” on this one after what went down with the OG.
I’m sure I gave Him a good giggle over that one. 😉
Point being, for as much as we may be able to *influence* an outcome, we often are not in actual control of an outcome – it’s literally an illusion.
- We can nail the interview and rock the resume and still not get the dream job.
- We can do the workouts and eat the greens and still not see the scale move. (Side note, screw scales – don’t look at yours!)
- We can follow the “gurus” and put it out “into the universe” and still not make it happen…because ultimately, it might not be ours to make happen.
I can honestly and humbly (and happily!) admit that I don’t always know what’s best for me. In the moment, I sure think I do…I definitely like to declare I know best. But in reality, I might not. And when I might not…I know Who does.
And so much of what I’ve learned through this journey, is maybe that’s exactly the point.
Maybe we’re not meant to call all the shots and have all the say – and maybe it’s not only okay, but better that way.
So as we close out 37 weeks (!!!) of this journey with Baby Gwynn #2, I just wanted to share my heart – along with some maternity photos we shot to document this blip of life. More thoughts on taking maternity pictures below, too, for any fellow pregnant mamas in the house. 🙂
So much of this pregnancy has been a healing journey.
Taking pregnancy pictures and maternity photos and “bump-dates” has all been a healing journey. Looking back at my pregnancy with Olivia, I think I had a whopping two pictures that really showed my bump. Granted, she had IUGR and measured small besides it being my first pregnancy, so my bump was teeny tiny ’til the end. But still…I was admittedly awful at documenting the journey. And five years later, I WISH I had been better at even just snapping quick mirror selfies to watch the miracle in me unfold.
Because that’s what it is: a miracle.
The ability to grow another human being inside of our own bodies is nothing short of a miracle. It so beautifully, craftily, intentionally and articulately showcases the glory, artistry, and divinity of our Creator at work.
Week after week now, I’ve sat in awe at the sonograms on the screen at our many appointments, amazed that we can see all four chambers of a heart pumping blood through another little body that’s the size of an eggplant…all inside of me. We’ve watched arms and legs grow, can count fingers and toes, see ribs – we can even watch lungs take practice breaths of air and see hairs grow on his little head.
For all of the physical discomfort that comes for us in the process of growing a human…it’s nothing short of a miracle.
Now, I’ve got thoughts a-comin’ on our bodies changing and just managing the feels and the thoughts and the unwelcome, unnecessary commentaries of others throughout (can we tell I just love that? HA).
But the biggest takeaway for today is to take the dang pictures.
Maybe it’s booking professional maternity photos, maybe it’s a quick mirror selfie, maybe it’s hanging a sheet in your living room and adding a black and white filter like we did here. 😉 Whatever you can do – do it.
You might not feel “your best” – you might feel a bit uncomfortable or awkward. Because honestly, pregnancy can be really freaking uncomfortable at times.
You might feel out of place in your own body, with new lines and stripes and spots and dots all documenting your stretching and growing.
I’ve struggled with that more than I thought I would, honestly – and I’m sure many of you know the feeling. We get so used to looking and feeling a certain way, and sometimes, putting on your favorite pants to see they don’t even go past your knees – let alone hug your booty in all the right places – can really mess with your mind!
But what I’ve learned through all of this is to take the dang pictures – and really look at them. Look at the way your body has changed (and grown) to carry the little miracle growing inside.
And thank it.
Thank it for being your teammate in one of the greatest, hardest, craziest journeys. It’s been there for you as much as it’s been there for your baby, and it’ll be there with you ’til the end and then some.
We can be so hard on it – and even hateful towards it – and yet, it’s still what’s carrying us through this one beautiful life we’re living on this Earth.
So, thank it – and take the dang pictures. 🙂
If you made it this far – thankyou for being here. I’ve been so overwhelmed by the amount of prayers and well wishes and good vibes in my DMs from so many of you who have been on this journey alongside us – many of you having been here for YEARS since Olivia’s dramatic earthside debut.
THANKYOU for the prayers. I feel like a broken record at this point, but I just can’t say it enough – THANKYOU for showering our little family in goodness. I have no doubt your prayers have been heard in heaven, and it’s such an honor to know how love(loveloved) this little man is already.
Just a few more weeks…