**Welcome back to GIFT GUIDE WEEK on CUR! Today, we’ve got a very special guest: my husband. I asked him to debunk a few gifting myths for us gals – namely, what to *actually* buy for your guy, depending on where you’re at in your relationship. Gotta gift your brother? There’s a gift for that. But it’s a different gift than what you’re getting the guy you’ve been dating a few months! So, best gifts for men this year…Take it away, J!
For years I’ve gathered gift guides to give you some ideas on how to get your significant other a thoughtful gift. If it made him laugh, even better. But this year…the struggle is real, and I need to be real here: I’ve poured through dozens of websites without success and have concluded that most of the gifts out there are kind of bullsh*t. They either cost too much or are sorry grabs at making you appear thoughtful for a hot second until your loved one stores the gift and never uses it. I mean…check this out.
Seriously?!? What’s Your Poo Telling You? FOR NINE F’N DOLLARS!! Yup, bullsh*t. Try getting a loved one that… they’ll laugh with you and then AT you for wasting your money.
So…what’s next? A real gift guide. One with sincerity because your loved ones deserve that. But you’ll need to work with me here. I’ll tell you what I would get one of my loved people or would like for myself during my stages in life, and you adapt it to your needs. Here we go… in a letter format from my perception of how a woman would write the letter.
GUY FRIENDS/BROTHERS/PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS:
Dear J –
I have a really good guy friend. You know, we’ve been friends for like the longest time and he’s just the HARDEST to shop for. Maybe you can help? K, thanks bye.
Alright, read carefully as this applies to your guy friends, brothers, or any other guy in any other type of platonic relationship.
WHAT TO BUY:
This is not as difficult as you think. Men at this stage are pretty easy. Stick to your main food groups: beer, food, and Amazon gift cards. The fact that you even thought of getting them something is more than they likely thought about themselves for you. Combine the three for maximum success: a six pack of good beer, a gift card to their favorite restaurant, and a $25 Amazon gift card…you cannot lose here.
WHAT NOT TO BUY:
Stupid gifts like this that cost way too much and they’ll never use. Key note for the seller here: nerds don’t usually wear long sleeved shirts, and if they do, they certainly do not get them without buttons.
TALKING OR CASUALLY DATING:
Dear J –
I’m like talking to this guy I really like and he may literally be the one. I mean, like, we’ve been dating, or at least I think we’ve been dating… I’m not sure, but anyway, he’s my guy. It’s been maybe our two-month-versary from the moment we first noticed each other and I really want to get him something nice. Not over the top, but also like I’m future wifey material. K, thanks, bye.
I hear you. Erica and I were in this same situation. We started dating in September and Christmas was like three months from the moment we became an item. What she did for me was perfect… not too expensive but definitely included the future wifey material…
WHAT TO BUY:
Drum roll, please…SHUTTERFLY. You cannot go wrong with taking all those pictures you know you have in your phone right now and turning them into a memory book of you and your guy. Think about it. You won’t break the bank, can start a new tradition (do one every year like Erica does for us!), and solidify that you’re the one for him. And hey, if he doesn’t work out, they also burn easily. 😉
WHAT NOT TO BUY:
This completely unnecessary and over the top Campfire Beer Carmelizer. No guy, and I repeat, no guy (except for the maker) would use this. (Let me spend $35 dollars…that’s like $60 before tax… and buy a rod to heat up and literally turn my cold beer into warm beer and then I will drink it. No, thank you. However, buy this gift if you are trying to set the tone that the relationship won’t last long-term.)
COMMITTED BF/GF RELATIONSHIP:
Dear J –
The absolute love of my life – my SOULMATE – and I have been in a strong relationship for a long time now (and I think he’s going to pop the question soon!). I’ve gotten him really good gifts the past couple of years but don’t know what to do. Help! K, thanks bye.
Alright, it’s time to get a little bit more serious with the gift giving once you’re official. I mean, you made it this far, so you’re clearly invested in him and this article.
*This one comes with two options: if you’re in your relationship and NOT engaged for 4 years or less and same with longer than four years. Scroll to your desired option.
WHAT TO BUY:
Option 1 (Committed for up to 4 years)
By now you have to get him more than one gift. Start with your basics: clothes, cologne, beer, beef jerky, etc. But you need something elaborate. Something that makes you reaffirm yourself in the relationship. Odds are he enjoys sports. Go all out and get him his favorite sports jersey and include tickets, good tickets, to a game. Go an extra step and tell him you will also be tailgating with him, too. Nix the tailgate if he’s not a social drinker.
Option 2 (It’s been long…4 years and no ring):
This is easy. Get him a box. Wrap it really nice to show him you present well. Tell him you want all his family there to see him open the gift because you’ve put a lot of thought into it. Heck, video tape it too for memories. Let him open the present. He’s shocked. Nothing is in the box except for a note. The note states: you have three days to figure out this riddle. If he doesn’t figure it out, then buy yourself some wine. Move on in life. You’ll be o.k.
WHAT NOT TO BUY:
Items like the Himalayan Salt BBQ Plank. Seriously, $30? I literally do not have words for this but am also curious on how much profit this nets annually.
ENGAGED:
Dear J –
You joke a lot but I need you to be serious for a moment. My guy and I are engaged and this is the last holiday we will ever be engaged before we are married. What the heck do engaged men want for Christmas?
Read carefully. If he put a ring on your finger, and it’s a good ring, there’s a good chance debt is attached to his name. Don’t worry, you’ll assume that debt, too, when you’re married. But that’s later and this is now. You have a wedding to save for and pay for and a honeymoon. KEEP IT SIMPLE. Literally. Tell him the same thing. He will be relieved and love you more. It’s not about the amounts. It’s the thought.
WHAT TO BUY:
Set a limit for each other. Say $100 each. Make it a game and see who can think of more thoughtful items that capture the essence of the relationship within that amount. You’ll both love it and you’ll both grow closer for that special day. Trust me here!
WHAT NOT TO BUY:
No offense to the seller, but why would you buy an Egg on a Bagel for $25? However, I would buy this to make my quasi-famous pound cake if it came in an oven-proof pan.
MARRIED:
Dear J –
I followed all your advice to date and have finally made it to marriage-ville. Gosh, I literally can’t think of anything my husband needs or wants at this point. What now?
Don’t forget that women have it easier than men here… remember earlier in the guide? Simply getting your guy something counts. Furthermore, we are so flipping easy that I’m surprised we’re not classified as plankton. You can redo any of the earlier categories and be A-OK. But… I can’t leave you hanging after reading this far…
WHAT TO BUY:
Erica has done so many kind things for me that I’m going to borrow her idea… because it was awesome. Take some time, and maybe you start this for next year, and write one letter a week to your husband. Use themes such as “When you need inspiration” or “When you miss me.” Etc. And write. Send a message. Let it last all year. We all get excited on Christmas, but you know what’s even better? Being excited all the time. Give your husband something to look forward to throughout the year, in good times and bad. You know… your vows!
WHAT NOT TO BUY:
This Play Your Way Ice Cream Maker for $50 whopping one dollar bills. Please explain this to me.
Hey, hey. If you still want some possible laughs, check out my previous guides here, here and here.
THANKS, J. LOVELOVELOVE YOU.
What are you gifting your guy(s) this Christmas? What are the best gifts for men this year?
Hope this helps steer ya in the right direction with the best gifts for men no matter the man! And if you’ve got more Q’s, drop ’em in a comment below, or leave a comment on Instagram. We’ve gotcha covered. 😉
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