So I had this crazy realization not too long ago.
I realized that I was on a sortof hamster wheel of success. I was always running running running towards something, without ever giving myself permission to reach a final destination. Granted, much of real life is like that – no true stopping point or finish line (like the pursuit of happiness or health – both are evergreen and constantly evolving).
But I didn’t stand a chance at thriving when I was obsessed with the cycle of surviving.
Really, it’s a shortsighted and smaller minded pursuit – that of surviving versus thriving.
Of course, like I said in the first episode of MY NEW PODCAST THRIVE, there are understandably certain moments in life that put us in survival mode and nothing more (like the birth of a baby, or the loss of a loved one). Where thriving isn’t the priority because it might not even be possible – mere survival is all we’ve got. And that’s okay.
But most times, that’s not the case. Most times, it’s the excuses and the stories that playback in our brains that keep us in survival mode and prevent us from moving forward into something more – more meaningful, more impactful, more powerful for our own lives.
Most often than not, there’s a little something deep down that’s holding us back from thriving.
Before diving into what those limits might be, I need you to understand one thing.
You deserve to thrive.
Say it with me: “I deserve to THRIVE.”
You don’t deserve a less-than life, or days filled with mediocrity. No matter what’s come before or what’s filled your past, you’re not destined to a life of hardship or sadness, and you’re not tied to some superstition or curse for an unlucky life. You ALWAYS have a choice for what’s next, even if that’s only a shift in perspective. You deserve to thrive. And that’s why God gave you all of the tools you’d need along the way already, both in you and around you to depend upon and count on to get to the next level, whatever that might look like for you.
You have so much potential inside of you. And your best self doesn’t look like hers or his – it looks like yours, because your journey is yours and yours alone. Your own best self and thriving life doesn’t need to involve a corporate boardroom like hers, or an operating room like his – it can be whatever lights YOU up.
You deserve to thrive, so let’s bust some myths on this Monday together, shall we?
When we self-sabotage our own success and call it by 32 other things besides what is really is, we’re in this cycle of dissatisfaction and unfulfillment and we think it’s because “the world” is out to get us, or God just didn’t #bless us as much as the next girl.
Which is so, so wrong.
God already gave you the tools you need to Thrive. They might not look like what you expect them to look like, and they might not be sitting in a neat little box in your garage labeled “Tools to Thrive.”
But they’re there, and they exist in different ways. They’re there in the form of a mentor offering advice, or therapist suggesting change. They’re there in the best friend with a listening ear or the sister with a supporting shoulder to cry on. Heck, they’re there in the form of Google, YouTube, and modern medicine. Sometimes we forget just how many tools are out there, for FREE, if only we put in the effort to pick up the toolbox and give it an open.
It’s like a racehorse standing behind a gate, waiting for someone else to open it. We think it’s on them to say go, and we forget we had the power to jump the damn fence from the start.
So. You deserve to thrive. Here’s what might be standing in your way.
- Fear of failure. But as we already discussed, it might not actually be fair of failure. But rather…
- Fear of success. You know you could actually do the damn thing, and the unknown on the other side of success – how life might change and how YOU might change with it – can be scary. But does holding yourself back to prevent success sound ANY bit reasonable and/or worthwhile? No, no it does not, Karen.
- Comfort with the familiar. Familiar is comfortable. It ties right into fear of success, but sometimes, even what you DON’T LIKE is what you stick around in, because it’s at least comfortable and known. It’s familiar. It’s safe because at least you know that you’re here and surviving. And there’s this totally nonsensical devil on your other shoulder trying to convince you that the possibility of thriving comes with a risk of NOT EVEN SURVIVING so it’s definitely not worth even trying, right? WRONG. Tell that devil to get back to where it came from, because you deserve to thrive, friend! Get comfortable being uncomfortable. It’s time.
- Lack of discipline. The hard truth. You won’t always feel motivated, so you need to BE disciplined to push past feelings in pursuit of facts. Fact: You deserve to thrive. No person or thing from your past, present OR future can come between the goodness that you can attract and cultivate in your own life. But sometimes, that person is our own self, and we need to put her brain full of fears or worries or what-if’s on low volume, and tell her to pull up her big girl panties and make it happen. If we’re looking, we can find every excuse in the book to NOT do it. But we just need that one reason TO do it, and for that reason to be louder + stronger than any excuse.
- Feeling undeserving, unworthy, or un-enough. Sister, I hear you. But the truth of the matter is this. Sometimes we feel like we don’t deserve it or shouldn’t have it because someone we love couldn’t or didn’t. Can you relate? We feed bad and guilty, or we resist stepping into success if it throws off what feels like it “should be” from past norms – like making more money than our parents, or getting pregnant accidentally when your friends have been trying for six months. But this is the thing: none of what happens in your day-to-day is a reflection of your worthiness, or lack thereof, to thrive. We ALL deserve to thrive, in whatever that means to YOU. Thriving also doesn’t necessitate the biggest house or the fastest car. Heck, thriving may mean a life apart from any material possessions at all, in dedication to serving the poor in mind, body or spirit. The most important first step is understanding that you deserve a full, vibrant, thriving life. And so does she. We can ALL thrive. So will you?
When we hang onto our old mistakes or failures, we’re held captive by our past instead of being freed by our potential.
We feel undeserving because we’re hanging onto the wrong thing and looking in the wrong direction.
Heck, for my fellow Jesus lovers in the room, we know that we weren’t really deserving of ANYTHING AT ALL until He made it so. And since God’s son paid the ultimate price for us, don’t you think you owe it to Him, too – beyond your family, friends, and yourself – to live as the best self that He created you to be in the first place???
You truly do deserve to thrive.
And also, it’s like I said in THRIVE EPISODE ONE:
You don’t need permission from ANYONE ELSE to thrive in this life.
But just in case you’re sitting there feeling like I once did – like there’s the Worth Police that’s going to knock your door down if you’re not living on their terms or by their standards, let me be the first to say that here, you have permission to be yourself.
Permission to show up authentically, transparently, vulnerably.
Permission to dream.
Permission to THRIVE.
You deserve to thrive. So will you?
How can you take a step towards thriving this week?
Drop it in the comments so you’re #accountable!