Did we do it? Did we save daylight?! 😉 This week’s time change has been a doozy on us all, but praise the living God for later sunsets and warmer weeks ahead.
Gosh, it’s been a minute.
It’s been a minute since I’ve sat down here, in this place, to open my heart on a blank page.
We’ve talked in the CURowd (P.S. Text CUROWD to 55444 to join our email crowd and get those more intimate chats!).
We’ve talked on Instagram Stories.
But things have been quieter here. Practically speaking, I blame my son. 😉 Being back in the baby phase is no joke, yo! I forgot how much focus it takes to write worthwhile words when you’ve got a two hour nap window, 3 loads of laundry and 14 text backs on the docket.
I’ve started and deleted and started again too many times already, so I’m just going to word vomit a bit and hope we get to a good place together, mkay?
There’s a lot happening behind the scenes here lately.
I don’t say that as some sortof sneaky secret keeper or in that annoying “I can’t tell youuuuu!” influencer kinda way – ha! But in all actuality, there’s a lot happening. Both “professionally” as in projects happening and *hopefully* happening, as well as “personally.”
What I’m learning is that so much of the professional work is dependent on the personal work.
They aren’t separate – they’re totally intertwined. The growth of one can’t come without the growth of the other, and it is a requirement to show up as my best for me before I’m able to show up as my best for you.
“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”
John 1:5
Something I started working on with my counselor is an idea called Internal Family Systems. I won’t go there now because it’s SO MUCH and loads of psychological #science, but let me tell you, we’ve been going there. It’s deep, intentional soul work, and at its core, it’s meant to heal versions of you that may have been left in the dark along the way.
Personally, I know exactly who she is. I know who the little girl is that I’m on a hunt to heal. I even know where she was left behind on the dark path.
But while I once thought I was trying to bring light TO her, I think we’ve since switched it and reversed that.
Girl had a light. She was confident and bright, goofy and spunky, joyful and hopeful with her heart on her sleeve.
As I type that now, I almost think I know her – like I still am so much of her. I see myself now in her then, but I also see the disconnects and holes that now need healing. Somewhere along the way, she let her light be dimmed by the world. She even learned to dim it herself. She learned to adjust the settings for her surroundings, so much so that she forgot how to just let go and be light without temperature checking a room first. She believed the lies that she should be less to fit in – that there were cycles she couldn’t end and chains she couldn’t break and things would just be easier if her light was quieter, dimmer, smaller.
But friends, it’s never easier in the dark.
I need that girl now. I need her, and she needs me.
Maybe it’s not so much now me needing to bring a light to her, as her bringing it back to me.
As much as the devil would love for me to believe the lie that I’m alone in this, I think maybe you know what I’m talking about anc can relate in some way. Maybe you’ve felt similar feels – have learned to play chameleon to protect a piece of you that was deeply hurt. And maybe you, too, are now on a healing quest, looking to lighten your load and re-light your fire after years of change, breakdown and breakthrough.
The breakdown is happening.
The breakthrough is coming.
For as much as it’s felt like the light went away, it was never truly gone. As true as the sun stays in the sky, our darkest nights have daybreak ahead. At our core, there is light to be found. It’s there – even when we can’t see it. Even when we can’t feel it.
We just have to choose to step into the light.
To stand in the sunshine.
To be filled with warmth, grace, gratitude, joy, peace and truth.
Only then can we choose to spread that light – to soak up the sunshine and BECOME light for others. And it only gets brighter by being shared.
Light is not the absence of dark. Rather, darkness is the absence of light. Light ALWAYS overcomes dark.
If you’re experiencing darkness – discouragement, disappointment, desperation, despair – know that for as all-encompassing and enveloping as it feels now, it cannot stand against the power of Light.
“I have come into the world as light, so that whoever believes in me may not remain in darkness.”
John 12:46
Maybe the little girl inside of you feels lost on the dark path, too.
Maybe her light was dimmed along the way – she learned to conform more and dream less and shrink to fit into a box that wasn’t meant to hold her. She got good at being there for others at the expense of being there for herself. Her eyes adjusted to the dark, discomfort became familiar, and she forgot how magical it feels to be soaked in the sun.
She needs you.
And maybe, just maybe, you need her, too.
The darkness may always come and go. But it will always answer to the light.
Find her in the shadows, grab her hand, and don’t let go.
“Jesus spoke to them saying, I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
John 8:12
