In honor of summer’s official commencement and the season of hamburgers and hot dogs, let me be frank: I’ve been in a bloggy slump.
Ever since starting a full-time internship (which I l-o-v-e), I’ve gained a whole new respect for anyone and everyone who has or has ever had a full-time gig. Ohmygosh, it’s exhausting working 8:30 to 5, with 45 minute commutes each way, and not even the almighty Dunkin’ can save my sleep deprived soul. I come home from work, one thing leads to another, and my so-called 40 minute nap turns into a full-on 13 hour night’s sleep.
Today, I’m talking about transitions.
Because lately, I’ve felt like I’m going through just that.
My thoughts and words haven’t been flowing. I’ve gone back to posts like this one and this one and I’ve reflected back on times when it all just came more easily to me.
This feeling of evolution really freaked me out at first, because I never want to lose my mojo.
But, transitions don’t always “flow” – and they’re not always bad.
I’m moving into life. The real world. And it’s hard and sometimes scary and generally short on time.
A transition takes time. It takes time to actually grow, and it takes time to adjust to new environments, routines, and people. I’m more on a baptized-by-fire streak as of late, but they say that’s the best way to do it, right?
My confession: I never truly realized how hard it all would be.
I approached summer thinking that it’d be a grandiose time to learn new things and explore new places and dive so far into the blogiverse that I couldn’t find my way out. I planned on upping my overall game, all while mastering this full time internship thing, rocking out at the gym afterwards, and going home to cook dinner and watch #OITNB.
HA. Life is so funny sometimes.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
Transitions are hard. They’re really hard. And this one has thrown me for a loop.
My writing has transitioned, and it scares me. My work ethic has transitioned, and it’s challenging me. My thoughts have transitioned, and my view of the world continues to transition, and I’m not always sure what’s good and what’s bad and what’s neither – what just is.
But that’s ok.
Because it’s not about knowing how to navigate every twist and turn and loop along the way. Maybe we don’t need all of the answers right now.
It’s about being open to the full realm of emotion, which keeps us human and connected to the rest of mankind.
Transitioning into a new stage of life means letting go of the past – something daunting, until done.
So often, I find myself saying “I can’t wait until ___ happens.” Butwait. Why not live in this moment? Transitions scare me. And I’ve discovered my coping method:
                                           I rush life.
I rush life, thinking that the next transition will be the lasting one – the one that means I’ve “made it” in “the real world.”
What are we in until circa age 23…the fake world? We fly through not-always-sweet adolescence, right through teenagehood and the in-between college years, until we’re 22 and “life” hits – is that all fake and meaningless? Is it all a big party or test to prepare you for the “realness” to come?
No. It’s all real. It’s so real, that it molds us into who we are and who we will be – And we will be glad for all this growth when faced with life’s bigger choices and decisions.
As we shift stages, especially when we’re younger, we’re taught the transient status of “growing up.” It’s the perfect excuse for every mess up, every flubbed line, every forgotten responsibility and every imperfectly perfect mishap.
Do we ever stop “growing up”?
Transitioning, like growing up, will always be present. But, unlike growing up, transitioning is flexible. It has a start, and it has an end, but it has a repeat button to do it all over again, as many times as you need or want.
And that’s what makes it good.
While I’m nowhere near perfectly juggling a packed schedule with a full-time internship, gym, blogging, travel, relationship, Skype friend dates, family, and/or learning-to-cook, I think I’m learning to transition between each as they come.
They each need more time.
They each lack something currently, which digs at me sharply.
But, I have hope. Because, like any other transition, the awkwardness should subside, if even for a moment, and I’ll feel peace knowing that I’m doing as much as I can do in the all-too-short 24 hours we have per diem.
Is it enough? Should I do more? Can I do more?
These sort of questions will probably never go away completely. And the answers may change often too. At the end of the day, that’s life and that’s okay.
Have you been in a transitional slump lately? What’s been your key to transitioning with grace? When you’re in a slump, how do you cope?
I’m so excited to see what you lovely ladies (and gents) think about transitions in life. I’ve been thinking about it so much lately…I just had to share.
In other news, soon I’ll be putting organic dark chocolate on my face. Apparently there’s some magnesium or zinc or something that’ll not just taste good…it’ll rock my pores, too.
Also, my best friend Taylor wrote this hysterical little gem, and it’ll make your day. Especially if you love breadsticks.
Go rock hump day!
