All or Something

This part of pregnancy has been…weird. A weird, wild waddle-fest right at this point, and I’ve been admittedly frustrated at how often I’ve had to adapt or hit reset altogether. Granted, this is no new news to me with.) pregnancy or b.) life. Real life requires adaptability. It just does. It’s not linear. It’s not textbook or clear cut or straightly shot, so it should really come with a manual that says “step one: throw out the manual.” 😉 But there have somehow still been so many times where I find myself so dang FRUSTRATED at the forks in the road.

This season’s path honestly feels full of forks.

One biggie is my body – because times, they are a-changin’. And with it, my body has just been doing its thang to support Baby G (women’s bodies are just SO INCREDIBLY MAGICAL aren’t they?! God is so cool + creative, look at us go amen). But with THAT has come this constant need to assess and re-assess and modify and change what I do and eat and wear to support my body supporting my baby. Especially in workouts – man oh man. I went into this pregnancy feeling strong and wanted to KEEP feeling strong throughout, physically, emotionally, and mentally, for so many reasons. But after what I experienced last pregnancy, I knew that feeling physically strong would directly correlate to feeling more mentally strong the closer I got to third trimester and beyond. But…lo and behold, certain moves and exercises and positions are just not possible when you’ve got a watermelon-size bump to accommodate. 😉 Beyond that, I’ve had more *pains* to consider this time around, from my crooked hips to a tailbone turning the wrong direction, that have me in PT and pelvic floor therapy to try and relieve pain as much as possible when we can’t actually eliminate or fix the core problem until birth. 

Another fork comes with work.

I had a whole other vision for where I thought I’d be right about now when it comes to work – what I’d have done, what would be in the works, how I’d feel before baby and “balancing” (really just handling) both, all that jazz. Trying to plan any semblance of a “maternity leave” as a small business owner has been waaaay more overwhelming than I anticipated. I have a weekly breakdown + countdown to baby, and that working document has been adjusted and changed and edited and tweaked 32 times already – and it was only an eight-week spread to begin with. While I’m forever grateful to have the job that I do now, it’s also a double-edged sword sometimes, just like pregnancy at this point. One hand is overwhelmed with gratitude and happy feels while the other is overwhelmed with all the things required to make it happen, and it can feel like a neverending juggling act and emotional ping pong match to constantly navigate (+ re-evaluate).

I’d be lying if I said there weren’t times I felt like just throwing my notebooks away and saying “screw it” to everything – like I’d have to call quits on the whole shebang and start from scratch with it all if XYZ started looking more like X…and then back to LMNOP. So I’ve had to continuously catch myself if/when I’m in this particular rut. If you can zoom out for a birdseye view, it’s a lot easier to call out the value in consistent, continued steps – no matter their size – and appreciate that for what it is instead of calling it all off over a few perceived missteps along the way.

But oftentimes, we find ourselves stuck in an “all or nothing” mindset.

Maybe it’s the recovering perfectionists in the room 😉 – but we think it either has to be done “right,” all out with 100% of what we’d consider our best…or it can’t be done at all.

Pregnancy has held up the mirror for the places in my life that I’ve been maybe-kinda-sorta giving it “all or nothing,” when really, what life really calls for most times is:

All or something.

There will be days that don’t get your “all” – or, rather, your “all” may look very different day-to-day. Your “all” after a full night’s sleep, rejuvenating workout and refreshing green juice will probably look AND feel different than your “all” after being up with a baby all night running on coffee and a prayer. Your “all” at 25 is different than your “all” at 45. Your “all” while nursing an injury is different than your “all” at your physical prime, and your “all” after your own cup has been filled is different than a day you’re running on empty. It just is.

And that’s okay.

The biggest key I’ve found so far is to be continually growth focused – not goal focused.

James Clear said in Atomic Habits (10/10 book recommendation, btw):

“Goals create an ‘either-or’ conflict: either you achieve your goal and are successful, or you fail and you are a disappointment. You mentally box yourself into a narrow version of happiness. This is misguided. It is unlikely that your actual path through life will match the exact journey you had in mind when you set out. It makes no sense to restrict your satisfaction to one scenario when there are many paths to success.” 

“All or nothing” is a completely narrow, limiting mindset that doesn’t serve us OR speak truth into or over us. 

The God we serve doesn’t demand perfection – He honors attempt. He wants your heart – not some pretty, polished, perfect finished product (because spoiler alert: He knows that’s not real anyway. 😉 ). He’s not holding you to the unrealistic standard you’re holding yourself – so take a breath, girlfriend. Release the tension. Let the pressure fall off – it doesn’t have a place here. An “off” day doesn’t have to be a lost cause.

You don’t need to do it all, get it all, be it all…at all. 

What you CAN do, instead, is show up consistently. For yourself, for your people, for your passions and projects, with confidence that steps of any size will still move you forward. Something is better than nothing…so give it your all, or give it something.

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