(Warning: It’s a doozy).
Success. suc·cess
/səkˈses/
Noun
|
Says Google, the most popular search engine on the planet. Thank you, Google, for creating an even BIGGER controversy with one of the more individually unique, complex, and diverse aspects of life. Success is too big of a word for 7-letters.
And this word – this whole “success” concept – had me worked up for the entirety of my freshmen year of college. And I mean really worked up. At the Wharton School of Business at John Legend and Tory Burch’s alma mater in the City of Brotherly Love, I swear some people sprinkle “success” on their Cheerios in the morning. It’s the talk, it’s the walk, and most days I feel like I need a triple shot of espresso to feel the least bit prepared to grapple it all. I’ve had total breakdowns, meltdowns, and Help-I-need-chocolate-before-the-world-crumbles-down’s. But, I needed a reality check – a step outside of the often way-intimidating “Penn bubble.”
Lately, I felt like I was hit square in the face with a dose of other people’s “successes,” and a lack of self-confidence promptly resulted. It might sound petty, dramatic, and/or wimpy – as I type all of this out, I feel like a soul-spilling pre-teen. (At least a virtual blog is better than a mini-pad-locked diary, am I right?). From talking to some of my best friends, though, I know I’m not alone. No matter how calm, cool, and collected you try to act, college seems to have this effect on people. It completely unwinds your train of thought and makes you question everything you know, do, and think. It challenges you constantly to become a better you (which is fantastic, albeit terrifying in the moment) and ultimately prepares you to kick ASS down the road at whatever fuels your innermost flame. And that’s cool! But with all of the daunting, sweat/tears/ hopefully-not-blood moments, how do we tackle the most trying times and come out better, stronger, happier? Where does “success” start?
Graduating from high school is such a wonderfully surreal moment for so many of us. It’s the culminating peak after a 12-13 year journey, and we all feel so “successful” and awesome and ready to take on the world post-cap and gown. And then college so kindly puts a halt to that, as we soon realize that nearly everything we so desperately need before actually “taking on the world” we haven’t actually learned yet. (Thank the Lord, really though, because holy schmokes the real world is hard). Ultimately, we all seek “success” of some kind at our second cap-and-gown donning day.
So, Google, when do you know if you’ve reached “success?” This holy grail of a catch word at Wharton. What we all stay up late studying to reach. What we fear we’ll never attain. Does it come from achieving goals and following passions (see Google-definition #1) or from becoming popular and making money (Google-def #2)? Frankly, I find it totally ironic (and slightly hysterical) that these groupings are as such. Purpose-and-aim vs. Popularity-and-Profit. Can it ever be both? I, for one, sure as hell hope it can be both, because I’ve been banking on the whole “you can have it all!” theory since age five, when I had about 4 career aspirations and 72 passions.
With UPenn Year #1, I fell into what I’m calling a success trap. I partially blame Facebook. The in-your-face method for utilizing bragging rights for every sweet-everything under the sun. After scrolling through other people’s statuses of landed dream gigs and incredible experiences, I ended up logging off disappointed in myself, feeling depressed and “unsuccessful” – totally ridic and over-dramatic, I know. And for that, I can only blame myself. I started equating other people’s “successes” to my own (This is very, VERY bad, do not do, run away from it or so help you, this will be your fatal flaw, LEGIT it’s the worst possible thing and sucks away happiness like a black hole). And I started worrying more about the job title than the position itself – more about how something looks on paper than how it positively affects my being. Point blank: Comparisons are toxic (Impending rant-post to likely follow…), and it’s only a downward spiral from there.
I eventually learned that after being sick of experiencing emotional roller coaster-like symptoms every time I logged onto social media. I got sick of forgetting what makes me unique, what I can offer to the world, and what I can do, regardless of anyone else’s anything.
So, I’ve decided to re-define “success.” (#sorrynotsorry Google). Lesssssbehonest, success is way too individual and unique to be limited to two overly-vague sentences on the web. Like, no way dude. I spend WAY too much time stressing over this godforsaken word for it to only have two definitions. It’s more than that.
When society spends so much time force-feeding us the diversity of mankind, how can we POSSIBLY stoop to compare each person’s individual milestones against one another and against our own? We have no possible idea of people’s actual life paths or future trajectories. We cannot cannot cannot collect all of someone’s innermost wants, desires, goals, personality traits, connections, or traces of luck that had any part whatsoever in helping them reach XYZ. And we shouldn’t. What they’ve earned is rightly theirs. But our own personal happiness is not rightly theirs, and we shouldn’t be eager to hand it over because they were lucky enough to feel what they consider “success.” Instead, we should applaud them for their personal victory and keep striving towards our own.
For me, success is feeling like I reached a new personal height, achieving a pre-set goal that took hard work and guts (but I got there!). Success is reaching unplanned heights, too, and being able to look back and say, “Wow, I didn’t even realize how cool that was for me. Look how I’ve grown from that!” It’s being willing and able to be open-minded about the scarybutimportant stuff, like relationships, jobs, family, and friendships. Being willing to step back and re-assess when necessary, doing it often and unabashedly, all while on a quest for that “best you.” Success is stepping out of your comfort zone, where it’s nice and cozy and things stay status quo (boring). It’s fearlessly going after what you want, even though your biggest fear is failure.
And success is simple. It’s holding off on that nighttime bowl of ice cream (fitness!), but it’s not beating myself up if I cave (ice cream is a girl’s best friend, really). It’s being able to brush off the dirt and try again, no matter how many times it takes to *insert any goal here*.
It’s giving someone else a reason to smile, or a reason to believe that tomorrow will be better than today.

Entering a new day while watching the sunrise during my flight to Spain. ‘Twas like seeing hope and inspiration go viral. Like the world saying, “It’s ok. Everything will turn out how it is meant to be.”
So with that…
Success. suc·cess
/səkˈses/
3. Doing whatever gives you that feel-good inner peace when your head hits the pillow at night. |
That, my friends, is to have succeeded. (Love ya anyway, Google).
lovelovelove,
E