I was genuinely stumped about what to write about today. And y’all…that never happens. My editorial calendar is planned out months in advance (with wiggle room, of course). I’ve got a whole spreadsheet of categorized ideas, and a whole post-it note system color coded to perfectionist standards. But I came into today with 5 different post drafts open + started, none feeling just right for January 15th, 2018. A Monday Mantra felt *sorta* right…but not totally. Something was missing. And in reflecting on the past few weeks, the weekend, the works – I felt inspired to combine a usual Monday Mantra with the big man himself – GOD. Specifically, the idea of placing our trust in God. Not in ourselves or the world around us – but in something (someONE) higher than all of that. Sidenote: Oftentimes, Monday Mantras are written completely in the moment, right before hitting publish that same day. They stem from my own experiences + personal struggles at that time, and they’re often written as a pep talk to myself in the hopes of also serving as a pep talk to any one of you who might be able to relate. So it’s funny – on the CUR reader survey, someone mentioned wanting to know when I’m actually going through something instead of just writing “from the other side,” and girlfriend, Mantras are ALWAYS in the midst of one thing or another! 😉
So today is no different.
In this journey of constantly being as real, open, + honest with y’all as possible in the hopes of creating something really stinkin’ special – a fabulous CUR community! – I’d be remiss to not talk about my faith. I mean, it’s a huuuuuuuge part of my life. God is numero uno, amigo.
And lately, I’ve had multiple situations in life arise that really called to mind the idea of trusting – like, reaaaaally trusting – in His plan for us.
What does it mean to totally trust in God?
And – more importantly for my black-and-white, visual AF brain – what does it look like?
Another sidenote: All that being said, this is still totally different than usual Monday Mantras. Namely because, I’m not about to say “This is what you should say today + this week to feel XYZ” when I’m fully aware + accepting of the fact that not all of y’all are Christian, too, or believe in the same God. And that’s A-OK – I’m just here to share my own faith + perspective and host a hopefully meaningful, inspired, grounded convo among girlfriends. 🙂
For me, this is something that I apparently struggle with more than I thought. I’d like to say I was a wiz at this – and normally, I’m pretty darn good at believing it for other people + dishing out this very advice to others. But taking the medicine myself? Sometimes way harder sans a spoonful of sugar. And honestly, how cray cray is that? Sure, God has a plan for your life. He’s working intentionally – you just have to believe! Keep the faith! Everything happens for a reason – HIS reason – in His time, and it’ll all be A-OK! But while He’s busy working purposefully in someone else’s life, my life is obviously just a hot mess express with a to-be-determined ending, right?
Here’s the deal.
Trust in God isn’t always easy. Or really, what I think I’m learning lately – trusting God with “the biggies” in life may never be “easy.” When we’re facing things that feel small, it’s easier to trust that they’ll work out right. But when we’re facing hard things, it’s harder to dually accept that God will make it alright the way that He needs to (and the way that WE need Him to) in due time. Things like death, job losses, rejection from a friend, miscarriages, big financial hardship – things that we very well might all experience at some point or another in life, but at different, often unexpected times.
I’ve talked about it in the past + very well may be talking about it again in the near future, but I have had anxiety since college. Strike that – I’ve had anxiety waaaaay longer than that, I just didn’t realize the signs and/or didn’t know enough about it to call it then. One day not long ago, I was having a mini freakout to J about something – probably work-related – and he just looked me square in the face and said, “Do you trust God?”
“Of course I trust God. But —-”
“No ‘buts’ – do you trust God?”
In the moment, I was less-than-stoked with that answer…why the heck can’t you just empathize with me in the moment and give me the Jesus talk later?? I thought. But J was being a good hubs per usual and pointing out the should-be-obvious.
Trust in God does not mean never feeling fear.
Trust in God does not mean never feeling anxiety or stress.
Trust in God does not mean never feeling doubt.
Trust in God DOES mean pushing *past* all of the above, relying on what HE has promised us. We humans may suck at keeping promises, but He has yet to break one.
And it looks different for every person.
Personally, I’m a very literal person. So I’m someone that needs to BANK on the actual Word of God, because if God said it Himself, then I can believe it. At the beginning of January, J + I started a 365 days of the Bible reading plan on our Bible app. So essentially…we’re supposed to read the entire Bible together over the course of 2018. Each day is about a 30-45 minute time committment with a daily devotional, multiple passages – one Old Testament, one New Testament, and sometimes a Psalm or Proverb, as well. J has been a total rockstar at keeping up with it, but me on the other hand…I need a strong dose o’ discipline from the sweet Lord baby Jesus himself.
This has been hard for me so far, namely because it’s shed light on how much in life I often prioritize over quiet time.
Which is totally no bueno and kinda embarassing to even admit.
My focus blatantly sucks sometimes. I’m like a puppy, to the point of J needing to put me in time-outs on the weekends without my phone to legit FOCUS on reading a book or the Bible without mindlessly jumping to Instagram instead. HA.
And besides my focus being god-awful, I also experience comparison traps on the REG. So beyond finding myself not fully invested in reading + learning about God’s plan for ME, I’m sitting around focusing on God’s plan for other people and wondering why the heck it’s not the plan for me.
HOW CRAZY IS THIS THO?!
More posts on comparison altogether to come, but for now – I know for me I have been literally writing down pen-to-paper what my own strengths are, what I bring to the table, what I think you guys like/value the most from me, etc to have something tangible to look at in those lower moments as a reminder of God’s work in ME – which is totally different than His work in the girl you Insta-stalk daily for her picture-perfect, filtered life. I’m beginning to think that God puts these situations in our life as a test OF our trust. Do we trust Him enough to not envy another? Do we trust His plan for us enough to wish even MORE blessings upon others, in full knowledge + acceptance that we will be blessed, too? That’s the level I want to be at constantly – a level where I feel not a pang of anything negative about myself at all upon seeing anyone else’s anything.
OK – so how the heck do we trust in God everyday in this filtered world of perpetual connectedness and this secular world doubting His every move?
TRUST IN GOD STEP ONE: Scope out Scripture
Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and he will make your paths straight.
But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
She who trusts in the Lord will never be disappointed.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.
Lord Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in You.
TRUST IN GOD STEP TWO: BELIEVE said Scripture.
It’s one thing to Google a bunch of relevant Bible verses or quotes about trusting God. #BeenThereDoneThat. It’s another thing entirely to truly internalize ’em. I learned this slash am still learning this every time I catch myself in a tither of worry/anxiety/stress/fear/doubt not at all rooted in His word or His promises. I have Bible verses all over my office, I go to church every week, I’ve got multiple daily devotionals + multiple Bible reading plans going at any given time, J + I do scriptural plans together for our marriage and STILL – I sometimes just suck at truly trusting God.
I’ll spend hours in a trap of comparison, believing that my life will just never look like so-and-so’s or that my career will never mirror her’s. All instead of believing that God has a truly great plan for ME – one that is only for me, and full of greatness that I cannot even imagine!
I’ll talk with J for hours about the future, full of what-if’s and attempts at perfectly planning it all out with a cherry on top. All instead of trusting that what’s meant to be will happen in His timing, not ours, and that that’s how it should be, anyways.
I’ll be so deep in thought about what the heck I need to do to achieve XYZ in life instead of praying about whether or not achieving XYZ is even in God’s plan for me.
I need to trust in God with my career. It will grow at His speed – even though I’d have it quadruple overnight, if I could – ha! And it will impact the people it’s meant to impact, pointblankperiod.
I need to trust in God with my family. Everything that happens to us or with us will all be in His timing, too.
I need to trust in God with myself. I will evolve, grow, + blossom…all as He intended.
OK, YO. That was loooooong. But hopefully helpful to some of you in your own faith journey’s, too.
How can you trust in God MORE in your life this week?
Do you like more faith-based post like this?? Pleasepleaseplease let me know – I truly hope this was somehow a valuable read for y’all in your own life stages right now!
P.S. If you’re looking for more #RealTalks slash inspirational sorta content, there’s a whole CUR category for that!
If you made it this far, THANK YOU – truly appreciate each + every one of ya that hang out on Coming Up Roses on the reg!