So…didja hit those 2020 goals yet?!? LOL – right? At this point, I think it’s pretty darn safe to say that not a single soul has actually achieved all of their 2020 New Years Resolutions or Goals – namely because of this thing called the coronavirus that hit around March. Between the world quarantining at home and not being able to be in public with a mask on, it’s also safe to say the world will never be the same – so why on EARTH would you think that the expectations on you (be they self-imposed or not) would be the same?! There are lots of extremes happening in the world today, and it can feel easy to fall into an “extreme trap” with any goals, too. Example: You didn’t hit your goal of losing ten pounds, so you’re just going to eat your weight in donuts and drown your feelings in Diet Coke instead. Or, you didn’t hit your goal of doubling your business’ revenue by mid-year, so you’re just going to take the rest of the year off and call it a loss altogether. While either of these scenarios might feel totally valid given how insanely stressful and downright wonky the year has been – they’re not necessarily productive, or better for your own personal greater good.
I know that so many of us have been riding the struggle bus, namely because we’ve talked about it in-depth in my DMs together. Literally this morning we were chatting about discouragement and how dang down I’ve felt lately personally, and with a quick poll, literally 98% of you agreed that you, too, have been feeling discouraged. It’s a familiar place for many, this year especially, and it can be especially debilitating when nearly everything feels out of our control. BUT, as much as we’d like to sometimes (and DO), we can’t just call it quits on life and binge rom coms for the rest of forever.
Today, my hope is to share a few helpful strategies + tips with you for checking in on your goals, revisiting your resolutions, and moving forward with grace and gumption to make the most of your current situation with an unknown future.
We’re goin’ with pictures of the ocean from my iPhone, because we all need some PEACE right about now amiright??? There’s nothing more peaceful for pressing pause + hitting restart than standing by the shoreline…just imagine some crashing waves as white noise while you read the rest of this post. 😉
Step 1:
Whip out the list. Break out the list of goals, resolutions, whatever the heck you wanna call it.
Look at it.
Make a mental note if you start feelin’ the feels – especially the not-so-good feels, and if you start internalizing anything as personal. (Example: “Wow, I’m a failure” – this is not a factual statement. It’s a feeling statement. Feelings are not facts. More on that here.) Take a hot sec to just reflect on where you wanted to be by now compared to the reality of where you are, without assigning any sort of judgment to it. This is HARD – I know. But stick with it, simply noticing any sortof discrepancy in those places without letting it impact your mental state.
Step 2:
Make a dash or a dot (or really, whatever marking floats your boat) next to ANYTHING on your list that was in any way/shape/form impacted by COVID-19.
For me personally, this was a *telling* exercise. Let me pull back the velvet curtain for a hot sec…
- There were 13 “goals” on my list. (We’re specifically talking goals in my business right now, if that helps put anything into perpsective).
- Of those 13, a whopping NINE were negatively impacted because of the pandemic, either directly or indirectly.
- And of those 13, ONE is currently crossed off as being “achieved.”
I mean, HELLO! If I hadn’t gone through with a pretty pink highlighter to do some digging, I would still be sitting here all down in the dumps, thinking that I had just majorly sucked this year, that I was a failure, yadda yadda yadda – insert the playback of those crazy little lies we tell ourselves when we’re facing imposter syndrome or just feeling blatantly bad about ourselves for whatever rhyme or reason.
So it is RELIEVING to see that you did not, in fact, just fall off of your game – it was actually just 2020 falling off of a building. Metaphorically speaking, of course. 😉 That building is called COVID. It reaaaaally changed a lot of things. Acknowledge that when you’re re-visiting those resolutions, wouldja?
Step 3:
Acknowledge that this year, for many, has sucked. For SO MANY REASONS. Literally all the things have happened, from a global pandemic to murderous hornets, and it is really FAIR to say that you didn’t achieve XYZ because XYZ were impacted by ABC…and then DEFGLMNOP along the way in this hot mess express of a year.
We’ve been batting a thousand, friends. If you’re feeling like you’re struck out entirely – it’s okay. We’ve had one helluvah pitcher this inning. 😉
Step 4:
If in giving yourself grace you start feeling other anxieties, worries or stresses popping up into your brain – do a quick brain dump.
Get them out of your head and onto a piece of paper, so that you can truly, TRULY believe it when you go back through once more with your highlighter of choice to notate anything + everything that was touched, impacted, and/or changed altogether thanks to previously unforeseen circumstances.
Brain dump literally WHATEVER pops into your head, whether that’s a specific thing causing stress, your grocery list, a new idea for your Etsy shop, or a reminder to put the trash out. I know for me, brain dumps ALWAYS work wonders if I’m feeling overwhelmed, or if the clutter in my brain starts to create clutter around me physically. It helps straighten the chaos, if only for a moment, so that you can mentally unwind a bit, organize + strategize, and move forward in a productive, peaceful way.
Step 5:
Start fresh. Right now.
Wherever you’re at, with whatever you’ve got.
No, you don’t have 364 days to go – you actually don’t have a timer going at all. You aren’t actually boxed into a 365-day cycle of goal-setting and resolution-making, and it actually doesn’t have to be a year or less to the “best you ever.” Isn’t that a refreshing feeling?
You can just START NOW, and you don’t have to have it checked off by December 31st – you don’t have to have it checked off by September 2021, either. Just like we have to give ourselves grace to get through the unpredictable, uncontrollable elements of life, we also get to give ourselves permission to go at the right pace for right thing – a pace that makes sense in the season. When you’re running a marathon, you don’t get off at the starting line going as fast as you can – because you KNOW that you’ll burn out and won’t make it past mile four, let alone mile twenty six. Our goals somehow never end up getting the same grace (or common sense 😉 ). If you’re anything like me, chances are, you’ve been frustrated at least once or twice in the past with not getting to a goal “fast enough” or “on schedule.” And typically, this is a totally arbitrary timeline that really truly DOES have some wiggle room to account for, say, global pandemics and the like. 😉
Yes…2020 has been hard so far. You can do hard things – and you’re still here.
So even if EVERYTHING ELSE has gone to sh*t, you’re still here. And you still can do SOMETHING to create more joy in your life for a better tomorrow.
So, let’s just start over, shall we?
Especially with so many kids being back-to-school now, whatever “school” looks like this year, it can be fun + refreshing by embracing the back-to-school life as a grown-up, too. Because wasn’t it kinda exhilerating to stock up on school supplies (anyone remember Book Sox and Lisa Frank folders? Where my 90’s babies at???).
A few quick ideas to hit “restart” by embracing this new season:
- Re-connect with an old teacher. Keep a running list of your faves, friend them on Facebook, connect on LinkedIn – and actually get in touch again. Chances are, they’ll lovelovelove hearing an update from your life, and if they knew you well, they might even be able to give you fresh perspective or new ideas for your life at present.
- Buy a new outfit that makes you feel FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC. Sometimes jeans that hug your booty justright make a biiiiiiig difference. Or literally, the best wireless bra. Because that makes an even bigger difference. 😉
- Stock up on some new office supplies. How cute is this pink legal pad?! Elle Woods would approve.
- Check out Masterclass or Skillshare. I know I CRAVE growth in every sense and can feel stagnant really quickly if I’m not careful + intentional. So learning for grown-ups is always warmly welcomed!
- Goal set for now through next May-June. When you were in school, you were only caring about Christmastime for all the fun it brought – it didn’t have a ticker for any goals or resolutions. Reset your resolutions by shifting the timeline on anything that was/is more time-sensitive, and give yourself the grace to get it done for May or June now, instead of December 31st.
How are you checking in on goals and revisiting your resolutions?
Do any of the above feelings and/or tips resonate with you especially?
