What NOT to do your first day on the job.

interns

 

This past Monday was my first day on-the-job for my summer marketing internship. It’s supposed to be a dream straight out of the Intern Queen’s world, right? Uh huh. Except for when things take a turn for the worse. Learn from my mistakes…here’s what NOT to do your first day on the job.

Don’t stay up all night before your first day of work. Oh, how I wish it was intentional. After a massive bout of anxiety, nerves, and excitement-induced insomnia, I finally got shut eye around 3 am. Sure, getting up at 6:30 and commuting nearly an hour to work sounds like a brilliant idea. Forget the whole “first impressions matter” nonsense. That only counts on days where I’m 7+ hours in on beauty sleep, right? Duh.

Speaking of commuting, don’t be late to work. You shouldn’t be late to work period, let alone the first day. Pretty self-explanatory, right? Of course. And I know that, which is why I left my apartment at 7:20 am, giving myself more than enough time for my supposed 48 minute commute. I thought I could spare a few minutes to even grab a coffee and mentally prep for my 8:45 am start time. I thought I had “expect the unexpected” taken care of with my hour and 25 minute buffer…nope. 1 accident blocking the highway + 1 terribly miscalculated GPS system = 10 minutes late for Day 1.

Don’t wear pantyhose in June. Unless you like feeling like you have sticky candy residue on your legs all day. In which case, be my guest. (You can’t say I didn’t warn you).

Once you’ve grabbed a cup o’ joe and you’re pushing past the Monday morning fatigue, don’t slam your finger in the bathroom door. I mean, really though. It’s important to take note of the weight of said doors. Some are heavier than they appear; when in doubt, always opt for the handle instead of going all superwoman and catching the whole wooden shebang mid-swing. Then you’ll end up like me: too nervous to take off my gold nail polish to investigate the potentially black n’ blue nail underneath.

If you’re lucky, you at least dressed the part, so your first day wardrobe malfunctions can be left to a minimum. Who needs cleavage, ripped jeans and tattoos showing on their first day at work? Apparently, the new hire that sat across from me in headquarters’ main lobby. Tip: When you’re going corporate, nix the cleave and save the hole-y denim for music festivals.

One last thing: Don’t rely on GPS navigation. Like, ever. I’ve never had to say this before, but after Day 1, I’m convinced: the devil’s spawn is my car’s GPS system. A seemingly easy turnpike ride home quickly turned into, let’s send Erica onto a 7-lane, cross-over-two-median highway straight into residential area. And for fun, let’s add in some U-turns and make her jip two lanes to turn every which way. I can’t even adequately describe the situation, so just trust that it was complicated and equatable to going to the doctor and dentist and OBGYN all at the same time. I’ll stick to paper maps and compasses thankyoukindly.

No worries, though. It’s definitely OK to cry on the way to work (did that), and I’m sure it’s OK to blatantly burst into sobs on the way home (did that, too).

For the record, though, today went much better. As if “Fergalicious” on the radio didn’t automatically equate to having an awesome day already (which it does), I managed to snag an iced Dunkin’ on my morning commute. Booyah.

What are your first day mishaps? Do you have any? (Please say yes. Just feel my pain.)

This giveaway ends on FRIDAY…have you entered to be pampered yet? And if you find yourself in need of some fun web R&R this weekend, these links have got you covered. Hope your hump day has been faaaaaaaabulous, darling.

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