I sat down late last night with absolutely zero thoughts or motivation to whip up something for today, so it felt about time for a life updates post on a bit of what’s been going down behind-the-scenes with Olivia and the gang. Especially since the whole Gwynn house was wide awake from 2-4 am, beyond our usual every-three-hours wake up call for meals.

Earlier this week, we had our third swallow study. Since she had failed the last one (via aspiration), our hope/expectation this time since it’s been two months and she’s grown *significantly* since then across the board, was for a pass with flying colors. She passed part of it, so we can begin increasing her bottle-fed amount slowly but surely now; it’ll just unfortunately be a few months still with the NG tube in. Because even though there’s a position we can feed her in with no signs of aspiration on the swallow study, we aren’t allowed/able to hop from 10 mL in a bottle to the full 85 she’d be getting every three hours in total volume. It has to be a transition there to not overwhelm her system, so that she can work up to the full amount – like going from running a 400m dash to a marathon overnight. A part of me went into it feeling super optimistic since she’s been doing SO well; even though realistically I knew it’s not like the tube would be coming out right then and there, it stung to have such conservative, pessimistic report from the speech team at the hospital. We had a really no bueno experience with the specific SLP who ran this specific study (they have a different team member do each study to eliminate any preconceived bias), but luckily, she let decision-making up to our pediatrician and OT from our Early Intervention program. So. While our progression will be more aggressive + speedier than the SLP’s initial prognosis, it’s still an uphill journey – and I’m just reaaaaaally ready for a downhill cruise any minute now for a breather.

Really, I feel defeated. And this week has just been a hard one.

Girlfriend HATES the tube at this point, and I don’t blame her one bit. She tries to pull it out every chance she gets, with mittens on and all, and her poor face is *raw* at this point from the tape. She pulled it out yesterday morning – she was sound asleep in her crib, pacifier in mouth, so I thought it would be safe to hop in the shower. LOL NOPE – I got out after 10 minutes to see her wide awake, entire NG tube out and laying on her stomach, tape entirely ripped off of her little face. Mittens on and all.

This chick is a sorceror, I swear.

It’s hard.

I know we can do hard things, I know other folks have it worse, I know there’s an end in sight somewhere – but it’s still just hard right now. And I know we got through 73 days of the NICU and an insane birth story, so we’ll get through this, too. But holy crap, what a year.

For everyone’s sake, we are reaaaaaady for the tube to be out, and for Liv to be able to just do “normal” baby things at this point without having to worry about how/if the tube affects matters.

IN OTHER NEWS and on a totally lighter note, can we talk about this dress?

Striped dress (only $14.99! Runs TTS – I’m in a Small!) // (exact scarf sold out, suuuuuper similar one here) // (exact pair from NSale sold out, is near identical! for only $34!) // (this is the exact retailer I got mine from – lovelovelove their service!)

I shot this awhile back and completely spaced about the shoot, so I’m V GLAD I remembered in time to share for spring shopping, since this $15 bad boy is *perfect* for transitioning seasons!

It’s long sleeve – obvi still a plus when day temps are more unpredictable.
It’s WRINKLE FREE – and y’all know that’s basically like a lotto win for me, because ain’t nobody got time to iron anything in this house.
It’s striped – so clearly matches anything + everything in your closet, and is a total classic.
It’s soft AF. There is spandex in the fabric blend, so that explains the material being so soft AND wrinkle-free – it has light stretch to it, too!
It’s lightweight + breatheable. A win-win combo when you’re transitioning seasons, since ain’t nobody got time for sweat marks or messing with annoying layers!

Also…did I mention it’s only 15 bucks?!? I mean, y’all. #AddToCart!

The other thing? The asymmetrical, high-low hemline. Especially leading into spring with daintier sandals and chunky wedges, it’ll be SO FRIGGIN’ CUTE with the highlight on your legs like this!

This bright blanket scarf is unfortuntely sold out, but these are so similar for $10.06. While blanket scarves aren’t necessarily what everyone and their mom is jumping to whip out right about now, especially in PA, we’ve still got some cold temp days. (64 today, 40 next week. Whoop). FINGERS CROSSED they’re moving to the rearview mirror, but just in case, it helps to have something on hand that can be thrown around bare shoulders if need be for easy added warmth. The bright colors in this scarf make it a perfect one for exactly this purpose, justincase. And I’m all about a good print mix; stripes + plaid here just feel fun!