Ah, CYBER MONDAY. We’ve been there, we’ve done that. You’ve scoured the sales, you’ve explored the cyberspace. And 23957 clicks later, you’ve got 4 online carts full to the brim, cold coffee in your mug, and not enough mental energy left to brave the next “surprise flash sale” that’ll leave you questioning your parenting skills as you seriously consider tapping into the ol’ college fund to make it through 50% off at Express. I mean, the whole thing is just exhausting.
I blame whoever the heck thought this was a good idea. Just keep the sale happenin’ ALL YEAR ROUND AMIRIGHT?!
Because this was a hit, let’s do it again. 50 thoughts you have while shopping online. Starting with…
- CYBER MONDAY, LESSSSSGO. Who’s ready? I’m ready.
- What am I doing here? I should not be here.
- I cleaned the house yesterday so I can buy this top today.
- Actually I only got to cleaning my desk, but that’s a start amiright?
- Speaking of desks, I think mine needs this. [30% off with code MORECHEER]
- OMG 40% off everything at American Eagle, free shipping, AND 50% off all sweaters?!
- OK, onto Gucci.
- First thing’s first: sort by price, low to high.
- WHY IS THE LOWEST PRICE $780?!? What’s the highest price? My kidney?
- JK Gucci ain’t on sale. #ThankUNext
- Oh, but these casual camel toe shoes are. I KID YOU NOT.
- What’s on sale at Express today? Oh, everything? SWEET.
- And 50% off everything at LOFT?!? AND free shipping?!?! I was just thinking that I need ALL THE THINGS FROM THERE.
- I’ll just ramen for a week.
- …or three.
- Note to self: Vaccuum today.
- Second note to self: Do I need a new vaccuum?
- Almost done…that should be…
- OK, I’ll give up the bling.
- Who am I kidding? There are wants and there are needs, and these I obviously need. [code: CYBER35]
- Help me, I’m poor.
- Too soon for wine?
- Nordstrom has free returns…and free shipping…and 60% off right now…
- Take my computer away, for all of our good.
- I need wine.
- And you need these wine glasses. [$10.36 + free shipping]
- Extra 60% off sale at J. Crew AND 50% off everything else?! [code: CYBER]
- *needs $30 more in cart for free shipping*
- *adds $130 more worth of sh*t I don’t need to be safe*
- Speaking of sh*t I don’t need (but am 100% buying, because $12 and #priorities)…
- What size top am I now? Small? Medium?
- I worked out this week, so definitely a small.
- But I also ate an ice cream sandwich for breakfast today…
- SPANX IS ON SALE. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
- Did I pay off my credit card yet?
- No? Huh. So a few more bucks on that balance won’t hurt, amiright?
- Balance. Like yoga.
- Speaking of yoga, 40% off sounds about right.
- I have this dress in 4 colors in long sleeve and 5 colors in sleeveless, so what is the probability that I need it again?
- LOL, I hate math.
- Except when math is 50% off EVERYTHING at Old Navy.
- P.S. There’s a 100% chance that I need it again.
- There’s a 30% chance that it’s already raining. I need a new bra.
- Welp, they’re 40-50% off right now at Victoria’s Secret.
- Now I need something pink, too. Is it Wednesday yet?
- Sh*t no, it’s Monday. Duh, E.
- This is hard. Shopping is hard.
- Lord, I need a vacation.
- Any cruises on sale today?
What do you think while shopping online? And what’s on your Cyber Monday sales shopping list?
If you’ve felt the feels, commiserate in the comments below. 😉 And share these thoughts you have while shopping online with your best shopping buddy while you’re at it. We’re in this together.