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Ah, Cyber Monday sales are upon us. ‘Tis the season for stuffing our faces with Thanksgiving leftovers and stuffing our closets with whatever’s on sale (like 50% off everything at Express, 50% off everything at Old Navy, 50% off AND free shipping at LOFT…you get the hint 😉 ). But TBH…I think we’re all feelin’ a weeeee bit exhausted. The internet is chockful with gift guides + sale guides and really, it can be even more overwhelming than the Cyber Monday sales themselves. Ya feel?
So instead, I figured we’d all hold hands and sing kumbaya over the metaphorical mall campfire as we all nod our heads and relate on these 63 thoughts you have while shopping online. You know you think’ em, too. 😉
Dress (on sale for 50% off with code FCXLTK – SUCH a perfect dress all year long! Works for spring/summer bc of the sheerness + material, but works for fall/winter bc of the color scheme…win win!) // $69 similar dress, $34 similar dress // Studded heels (+ their designer counterpart) // Gold initial pendant necklace (currently 30% off – makes for a PERFECT gift!)
- OK, gonna get so much work done. OH WAIT, Kate Spade is having an extra 40% off SALE sale? BRB
- STAHP. THIS SALE THO.
- I like this. And I want this. Need this. LOVELOVELOVE this. Gotta have this. [code: MOREJOY]
- OK, where’s my wallet?
- Can my identity still be stolen from shopping online? That’s what dad always said…
- Which card should I use?
- I’ll get points to shop with Nordstrom, or cash back with Discover, or travel points with Amex…decisions, decisions…
- Oh wait, what’s not maxed out already? Oops.
- OH WAIT, need to put laundry in.
- What size am I?
- What size is the model?
- If the model is 5’10” with a waist size of 24 and I am 5’6″ with a 25 waist, what is the probability that this skirt covers enough of my ass to walk around without mooning the folks at the grocery store?
- What is the probability that it’s going to rain tomorrow?
- “My breasts can tell the weather.”
- Speaking of breasts, will my boobs hang out of this? No one likes underboob.
- Or overboob.
- Or sideboob? Who am I kidding, I don’t even HAVE boobs.
- OK, I’ll buy three sizes and return the two that don’t work. Right? Right.
- But what’s the return policy?
- If I order this today, can I have it tomorrow? Oh wait, that’s Amazon. But SHOPBOP DOES AMAZING SHIPPING. #whoa [code: MERRY17]
- Speaking of Amazon, I did a gift guide for Her ALL FROM AMAZON. Amazon is great.
- Speaking of great, this sale IS GREAT WOW I WANT ALL THE THINGS. [code: CYBER]
- Can I wear mom jeans and a middle part without looking like Cindy Crawford circa 1992? Uh nope. Negative.
- How many rolls are allowed when wearing a crop top? No matter HOW I sit, something is poppin’.
- Speaking of rolls, there’s that sourdough loaf calling my name.
- Thank the Lord my fave Spanx is on sale. #bless
- SH*T I FORGOT THE LAUNDRY.
- I wonder what’s on sale at Nordstrom today?
- Oh, that’s right, everything.
- I should probably stop wearing the underwear my best friend in the 10th grade got me for me sweet 16. Did I just say that on the internet?
- This underwear is effing expensive but also effing AMAZE and it’s on sale so TREAT YO’SELF.
- Should I get a new bra while I’m at it?
- UGH but bra shopping is the worst. Maybe I should go in store.
- JK, bra shopping in stores is the worst.
- But FREE Shipping over $30 + 20% off $125 [codes: SHIP30 & 20OFFVS] means Victoria’s Secret online here I come.
- Maybe if I just sit with all this sh*t in my online cart, it’ll magically appear at my house.
- Note to self: Snatch UPS boxes BEFORE husband gets home from work.
- OH NO, SOMETHING SOLD OUT.
- Dang it. These Cyber Monday-ers mean business. What’d they do, wake up at 4 am to shop?
- Oh wait, I’m up at 6 am to shop.
- Need coffee. Need more coffee.
- This sweater is $22? U R JOKING. #AddToCart
- And this necklace (that I have + wear all the time) is 30% off + is the EASIEST giftable for any gal pal in your life.
- I have these in black but obvi need in taupe, too. Right? Right.
- OMG COZY AF ALERT.
- Speaking of Cozy AF, there’s a gift guide for that.
- What the heck is a Hatchimal?
- 50% OFF EVERYTHING + FREE SHIPPING AT THE LOFT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL. [code: CLICK]
- BREATHE, E.
- Get in my cart, you gorgeous cardigan you.
- Velvet leggings? Sign a sistah up.
- A winter coat for $59?!?! STAHP. YOU’RE JOKING. (but they’re not).
- Also 50% off everything at Old Navy? MY HEART.
- OH MY GOSH I FOUND MY FAVORITE GAME.
- Y’all. Speak Out is on sale for $8.99 AND you can have it tomorrow. This is insanity.
- Now I wanna throw a party.
- Yannno what’s a party? This entire Cyber Monday sales ad. Holy schmokes, I’m drooling.
- Maintain dignity. Utilize self-control. Exercise restraint.
- *Fails at all, buys the bag*
- Speaking of bags, does Gucci have a Cyber Monday sale?
- I wonder what’s for dinner tonight. OH WAIT, I have to make it.
- Pizza it is.
What do you think while shopping online? And what’s on your Cyber Monday sales shopping list?
If you’ve got some funny thoughts you think while shopping online, let us know in a comment below. I’m sure we’re thinking the same thing. 😉
P.S. If you’ve got a girlfriend who thinks the same things as us…share this post with her!
P.P.S. What Cyber Monday sales are you shopping????