Who’s so beyond ready for a shortened work week?? *ALL RAISES HANDS* Lately, it feels like everyone and their sister has got babies on the brain. Maybe it’s just my Instagram feed, or maybe it’s the fact that one of my girlfriends’ due dates was last week and another’s is literally TODAY. Over a year ago, another girlfriend shared some “ways to prepare for a baby” to her Facebook status with her maybe then-7-month-old. Now with Olivia being 9-months-old in a few weeks (!!!), it felt fitting to throw my own two cents into the mix and build upon what she started (and I think she got the idea from someone else online, so mamas, feel free to chime in with your own additions since we’re all in this together – ha!).
P.S. This morning, Liv resisted naptime like it was the patriarchy. 😉 Looks like it’s time to lower the crib mattress…
- Set an alarm for every three hours. Make sure the volume is all the way up.
- Fall asleep 5 minutes before said alarm goes off.
- Make 10 cups of coffee and don’t drink any of them.
- Unless they get cold. Then by all means enjoy.
- Or better yet, forget them in the microwave…
- …Or on random tabletops, counters, and dressers around your house.
- Say that you’re going to the bathroom, lock the door, and do a face mask and pray the Rosary instead. (Optional: bring wine).
- Wake up in the middle of the night and yell “WHERE’S THE BABY?!”
- Get dressed and then pour milk on your shirt.
- Pour milk on the bed.
- Pour milk on the floor.
- Start 10 tasks. Finish none.
- Don’t shower.
- Actually, shower. Once every 4 days or so.
- Oh, and get out with shampoo still in your hair.
- Alternative method: Shower every day, for a maximum of 30 seconds. Utilize dry shampoo until your hair just BECOMES dry shampoo.
- Cry a lot.
- Put a load of laundry in the washer and forget about it for a few days. Then remember, re-wash, and repeat.
- Practice Googling things like “normal poop color,” “why does my baby hate me,” “will I ever sleep again.” and “how to put my baby back inside of me.”
- Eat. everything. in. sight.
- ^ one-handed.
- Say you’re going to leave the house and then just don’t.
- Go out to the mailbox. Pretend you’re an expert on the day’s meterological happenings from that near-extraterrestial experience.
- Sit in your pajamas forever.
- Cry some more.
- Join a mommy group on Facebook and try not to freak out.
- Watch Moana 200x.
- Decide now or forever hold your peace: Doo-dooooo-doo-doo-doo-doo or DOO NOT Baby Shark?
- Hide pacifiers around the house. But only the good ones.
- Cover your floor in Fisher Price toys. Then take away the one “adult” thing in sight (like that picture frame you’ve been meaning to hang up since 2018) because it’s actually a chew toy now.
- Practice throwing a 15 pound weight in the air 32 times.
- ^ while singing “You’re Welcome” from Moana.
- Feel overwhelmed, stressed, blessed, happy, sad, mad at your husband, in love with your husband, disgusted at the human body, in awe of the human body, gross, paranoid, confident, clueless, calm, oh so in lovelovelove and everything in between. Oh, and also hormonal.
Linking up some of my favorite baby products for Liv below in case you’re looking for other ways to prepare for a baby. 😉
Mamas, what ways to prepare for a baby would you add to the list?
Any we missed? 😉
